'Belong'

Have you ever feel like you just don't belong with the people around you? You've known them or be friends with them for quite a long time, and suddenly you feel like sort of being ignored or disliked and just don't belong.

Well that's how exactly I feel right now.

Then I start to wonder and think (more like overthink). Maybe I'm not the greatest of friend to them. Maybe there were many times where I hurt their feelings without realizing it. Maybe there's something about me that they just don't like. I remembered that night where I was heartbroken hearing what they talked about me. It was so painful that I couldn't even cry about it. But it wasn't a surprise. I always sort of knew I guess. I apologized but of course things didn't change much. I was still treated the same way. And then I started thinking.

I've done so much for them and this is how they're treating me. Maybe friends is not the word for them. But that would be too harsh for me to say. And so I ignored my feelings. But every time I see them, it hurts me all over again. How could they? Or maybe I was just being dramatic. Everyone seems to be okay. It's just me. Maybe it is just me who is wrong and not so normal. I start to overthink again. And finally I came to a conclusion.

The only reason they're not okay with me is because I am who I am. It's not my problem that they can't accept me the way I am. It's not my fault that I'm not those kind of people who would just agree to everything they do or say. It's not my problem that I have my own principles and I stick to it. It's not my problem that I'm nothing that interests them. All I know is that I've helped them a lot. It's up to them if they still want to treat me the way they're doing it. I don't care cause at the end of they day, I don't come running looking for them.

So if you're stuck in this kind of situation, no worries. Don't worry if people don't like you for no concrete reason or just because you're not so into their gang. Be happy, be proud and stick to what you do best - be yourself!

They're laughing at me together. If only they knew that they're actually laughing at each other behind each other's back.