Little Brother

I recently watched "The Blind Side". Yes, just watched it for the first time after the movie exist for about a year in my hard drive. The movie was absolutely beautiful. I started crying at the 10th minute and couldn't stop til Big Mike's life changed when he was adopted by Leigh Anne. This is definitely a must watch movie!

The character Big Mike reminds me so much of my very own little (more like big) brother - Muhammad Aiman Hakim Amran. He's tall and big. Scary face. Hot tempered. Can easily beat the crap out of everyone who tried to mess with him (I did this once and ended with a bleeding nose). But deep down, he's nothing close to tough. Sensitive. Kind hearted. Loving. Warm. Playful. Easily touched by little things.

I am close with all my siblings. But somehow, I have this special connection with me and only me. He doesn't mind me teasing him but when my other brother or sister does it, he would get upset easily. He doesn't mind sharing food with me but not with others. He doesn't mind my stupid requests but not with others. He pampers me. My best memory of him would be when we play in water together. He would often swim around with me on his back, protecting me from being splashed by others. I remembered we were at the beach once. The sea was receded. We decided to swim to a small island formed as a result of the receding. Along the way, the sand was getting softer and I grew disgusted to step on it, at the same time I was lazy to swim, as the water was getting shallower as we approached the little formed island. He would simply carry me on his back, saving me.

As we grow older, I guess distance came between us. I went to a different school and wasn't home often times. He started being a guy and was rarely home. I felt like I lost my little brother. Then I went to college. I only see him on weekends that I went home. Then I came to New Zealand. I hugged him for the last time. I didn't know if he was sad to let me go. He hid that feeling very well. Months passed by. Whenever I called my family, he never really talked to me. I can't figure why. Maybe he was just being a guy. Cause Dado acted the same way but not my youngest brother. So maybe that was it. He was being a man.

I went home during the summer and we got closer again. But there were lots of times where we went out but he never followed. Again, I felt like I lost my little brother. Things stay the same until it was time for me to return to New Zealand. The same thing happened. Video and phone calls but he would never talk to me.

Then it was time for him to go to college. Only then I realised, I wouldn't be able to see him in my video calls anymore. "Call him, talk to him" Moma said. I decided to give it a try. "Why are you calling me? Moma's not here. Is something wrong?" he said to me the first time I called him. He thought there was an emergency and I couldn't reach my parents. That phone call didn't last so long as he wouldn't say much. I sort of gave up.

Then I tried texting him. Thinking he would not reply. But the opposite happened. He talked to me. He asked me questions. He tells me story. He even said I love you and sent me selfies! And surprisingly, he uses lots and lots of emojis (much more than I do). We haven't stop texting ever since.

I found my little brother again.

"You may be taller, you may be bigger, you may be tougher, but you will always be my little baby brother"