Clingy

I am clingy. That is a fact. I don't need people to tell me that. I know that. Everyone around me knows that. It's an obvious thing. People could see it clearly. I spend most of my day with him. In class, lunch, while studying, at night... Especially during exam season. I would be with him every second of the day. Where there's me, there's him as well.

To certain people, it is annoying. To others, it is a normal thing and it is okay. And the remaining, they just don't care. People would often wonder don't I get bored of spending the whole day with him. Why must I be so clingy? How can I call him at night before sleep when I just spent the whole day with him?

Well, here's my answer.

What you see is me and him going to class everyday. What you see is me and him studying side by side. What you see is me and him doing homework together. What you see is me and him doing something together. But what you don't see is that, while doing all those things together, there is actually no reaction between us. Sure, of course we were talking but all of it was relating to something that we did. Something that normal friends or colleagues would be talking about.

So, you see. Although I was with him all those time, I actually did not spend much time with him. Probably 90% of those time, I was busy focusing on lecture, classes, tutorials, homework, school activities and lots of other things. We don't talk to each other as much if we were on a date. We don't focus on each other but on other things. The same goes to him. We're together side by side but there's actually no reaction between us. At the end of the day, when there's actually nothing else left for me to do, he would not be there by my side and so I called. And that's when the real interaction happens.

You might argue that certain couples go to the same school but doesn't spend much time together. Well, that's probably because they're not in the same clique. I can't run from Remedy. We share the same circle of friends. I admit, back in the first few months we got together, I was super clingy and possessive. But it's been 30-ish months and I dare say I have improved. We don't fight as much as we did. He's happy. I'm happy and that's all that matters.

Some of you might laugh at this. Well, laugh all you want. You probably don't feel this because you don't enjoy that person's company as much as I enjoyed his. This could happen between anyone. Friends, lovers, family. If you love, or enjoy or long for someone's presence and company as much as I do with Remedy, then you will get me. If you don't, then you know one of the possible reasons.

Kabish?